Lost talents

How many beautiful voices has depression taken from us?

I'm a huge fan of Soundgarden and Audioslave. I have a syndrome of some sort that causes me to have a song stuck in my head every morning I wake up. One morning very recently, my brain decided to bless me with Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden.

I'd consider Chris Cornell to be the greatest rock vocalist of all time. If you wish to argue that, you're allowed to say Freddie Mercury and possibly Robert Plant, but I still don't consider either of those titans to hold a candle to the majesty of Cornell. He had a four octave range. Why is that so special?

To those who aren't in the know, this is a holy grail in singing. Extraordinarily rare, most people, up to and including the majority of classically trained singers only have access to three octaves. Consider an octave as a 'set' of notes that is accessible to you within your voice. Having access to a higher range of octaves is not something that can be trained. In essence, it's part of the genetic lottery all humans play. Some people get ginger hair, some people are able to make a greater variety of sounds and notes with their voice.
Harnessing one's extended range to sing is particularly tough, and requires an almost superhuman level of vocal control. To sing well is a talent rare enough, but to be able to utilise an octave usually unavailable to others is truly remarkable.

For some context, Wikipedia only lists 48 recorded artists as having a four octave range. Just take a moment to consider how many vocalists there have been in all of recorded musical history. Forty eight is but a drop on the ocean.

Whether or not a person can sing in four octaves is not my ultimate point here. I'm concerned about how Chris Cornell took his own life.

Like many artists, Chris struggled with depression and anxiety, despite being one of the most gifted performers of all time, the man suffered from an illness that left him feeling inadequate, full of self doubt and self hate.
Please understand, these are symptoms of a mental illness. If you've never suffered from depression, it would be impossible to relate to. A friend of mine is a father who mentioned that he could not comprehend how anyone with children could take thier own life; specifying that in his case, his desire to take care of his own children would always overcome any self defeating thoughts he might experience. This is natural, of course. It's healthy. It is, for want of a better word, "normal."

Try to imagine how bad things must be when someone like Chris Cornell decides to end their life. Outwardly, he had it all. The looks, the voice, the talent. He was cherished by millions of fans around the world, had many friends and a family who loved him. How could it be possible for someone who has all that to want to die? How could somebody in his position feel that they weren't good enough, or that they weren't loved?

I hope that baffles you. I hope for your own sake, you cannot relate to that feeling. And yet there are so many people who suffer in silence. How many talented individuals out their are struggling with their own depression, full of self hate and self doubt, unwilling and unable to share their beautiful gifts with the world?
I am one such artist. Recently someone told me I was good with words. Perhaps writing this will help me fight my anxiety?

Some days you don't need to express your feelings. Some days you're so overwhelmed you have to punch a wall, or scream, or sing, or cry. Other days it gets too much and you've decided you can't cope with the instability of your broken mind.

Mental health issues take so, so much from us. I have my battle to fight. But if you know anyone who is suffering in silence, please encourage them to talk. Remind the people in your life that they are valued, that they are loved. And if you can't get through, please help them seek professional care. Depression is an illness like any other that needs proper treatment for it to be remedied. If untreated, it can be fatal.

I once considered suicide a definite part of my future. I didn't know how, or when or where. It was a quiet acceptance that that would probably be the way I'd go out. I want to assure everyone reading that I no longer feel that way. But please be aware, that there are people living their life comfortable with the fact that they plan on killing themselves.
Life is too precious for this. We get one shot on this earth. Just one. I have not existed for countless billions of years. When I die, I will return to non-existence. This brief spark we call life is the only time I get to sit here and cry sad, beautiful tears as I listen to Chris Cornell singing Like A Stone.

Thank you for reading.

RIP Chris.